“Living a long life, the conventional wisdom at the time said, depended to a great extent on who we were—that is, our genes. It depended on the decisions we made—on what we chose to eat, and how much we chose to exercise, and how effectively we were treated by the medical system. No one was used to thinking about health in terms of community.” ― Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers: The Story of Success.
Friends aren’t just fun-they’re good for your health. Close, meaningful friendships boost happiness, reduce stress, and even help us live longer. But as we get older, keeping old friends and making new ones can get tricky. Studies show that adults lose about half of their close friends every seven years and replace them mostly with acquaintances.
Acquaintances are nice, but as we age, we crave deeper connections. Close friends celebrate life’s joys with us and help us navigate the hard times. Luckily, making new friends as an adult is possible-with a little effort.
8 Easy Tips for Making Friends from Gretchen Rubin
Gretchen Rubin is a bestselling author and happiness expert who shares practical advice on habits, relationships, and living a more fulfilling life. Her insights can make it easier to build meaningful connections, so we’ve rounded up eight of her simplest and most effective tips for making friends.
- Show up. Go to that party, stop by a coworker’s desk, or join that meetup. The more you show up, the more friendships can grow. Face-to-face time beats scrolling any day.
- Join a group. Shared interests make friendships easier. Classes, hobbies, dog parks, religious communities, or volunteer work are all great ways to meet people.
- Start a group. Can’t find the right group? Make your own! Even a small book club or hiking crew can build lasting connections.
- Say nice things. Compliments aren’t just kind-they actually make others associate positive traits with you. Everyone wins.
- Set a goal. Try aiming to make one new friend a month. It keeps you intentional and open to opportunities.
- Smile. It sounds simple, but smiling makes you more approachable and friendly. Even small gestures go a long way.
- Be friends with friends-of-friends. People tend to bond with mutual connections. Expanding your circle this way is surprisingly effective.
- Respect cultural norms. Friendships look different everywhere. In some places, unannounced visits are normal; elsewhere, texting is key. Pay attention to local cues.
Making friends as an adult may take some effort, but it’s worth it. Life is richer-and longer- when shared with good friends.
The Middle Slice 